Hello!!
This week was our first full week in NC. We started working at the thrift store/cafe three of the days of the week and then helping around Excel on the other days. I looked at my week on Friday and was unsure what to blog about this week, and goodness did God smack me in the face with that thought. He has moved so much this week and I continue to see his never-ending pursuit of me. My friend Liz and I work in the cafe together, which is an absolute blast! The community we are serving deserves every ounce we give to them. They serve their community exceptionally as a childrens’ home, thrift store, cafe, and sharing Jesus through it all. I am so honored to be able to serve where I am. As I get closer to God, I am learning that the closer I get the more I will be humbled. The more I see how I am not the center, but that it is QUITE the opposite. How whether it is cleaning toilets, raking fields, or serving ice cream cones, his glory can be seen through it all. It all is surrounded by the posture of my heart. How I am looking at the situation and how open I am to letting God move.
As I mentioned last week, the big thing I feel like God is wanting me to get out of this trip is to dig deeper in faith with him. I was explaining my view of who Jesus is to me to one of the ladies I was serving with, and I said that I feel like I am holding a shovel digging into who God is, and Jesus is supporting and kind of just cheering me on. She asked, “you are holding the shovel?” I said yes, thinking nothing of it, and moved on with my week, pleased with that image and who I believe Jesus is in this season to me. WELL, God sure did a 180 on that perspective. The next night we had a worship night, and when I tell you it was good, truly I mean GOOD; It was such an eye-opening experience of who God is. I felt as if every song I got to see a new character trait of God and his goodness. Not only was it good, but it was barrier-breaking, giving, filling, and what I know heaven will be like. I walked into the night ready to praise, not aware of the walls that would be torn down and the freedom I would receive.
Last week, God broke through my fear. This week God showed me how life and my heart is an onion. I have been asking God to cleanse me of all that is not him, and goodness gracious am I being refined. It’s crazy it’s like I asked for that or something. 😉 I tend to push my emotions away and then every once in a while I’ll spill them all out in a dramatic, not-needed, way. I have done this all my life and specifically, in the last year, I have tried to break this cycle (keyword I) and figure out how to process it in a healthy way. As I have gotten a lot better, I have also come to accept the way it is. That night during worship, I was praying and telling God how tired I am of this cycle of toxicity and pridefulness in my mind. God asked me “did I not die on the cross for you to be free of this?” and boy was that a jaw-dropper. So immediately I gave all of this supposed control I had of my mind to Jesus, asked for complete healing, and this cycle to be completely broken. I literally felt a physical weight lifted off of my mind and immediate joy. In awe, I asked God for walls and protection from these cycles for the future and still cannot express the freedom I felt in this moment. Whether you believe this or not, or would like more information. (I’d love to talk hehe) I come back in week 2 to ask you what in your life is holding you back from freedom in Christ? And is it bigger than the cross? Let HIM release you from the brokenness of our nature and the world. Life is an onion because last week I felt immense freedom from fear, but this week God continued to peel, or dig, and healed me even more. I cannot wait for next week, and life walking with him.
This all circles around to the shovel because I was holding the shovel. I thought I was digging into Jesus and who he is, but he is digging into me and refining me. There is a song by Maverick City Music called Refiner and I 1000% recommend that you listen to it, read the words, and meditate on your life. The best part is that he is not done, it is not a one-fix and you’re done and you walk on with life, but he will continue digging and refining and peeling until we are just like him, Jesus! Oh, what joy that news is to me.
It is not easy, but it is so worth it.
It is just one part of why he is so good. He has not given me a full answer on how he so good just yet, but each week I know I am getting closer and maybe that is how all of life will go, walking with him, letting him refine me, and seeing his goodness more and more. I guess I will see.
OH, MY GOOD NEWS! The girl on my team that I put on my prayer list, with a chronic illness was COMPLETELY HEALED! Like what! God is moving, is so real, and a literal waymaker. She was prayed over during the week and felt complete restoration during it. PRAISE! PRAISE! PRAISE! if you can’t tell I am very excited about this haha. So, if you did pray for her, thank you SO much. Just one more ounce of why God is so good.
Prayers:
As my team walks through this next week, that we would be able to hear and discern God’s voice clearly in our lives and to share him in the opportunities we are given. I ask for patience with one another, for us to be as present as possible, and for us each to continue the pursuit of His goodness.
For my sweet, wonderful leader, to continue being filled by Jesus’s cup and for wisdom to continue to be poured out of her, of the spirit’s words.
For the community, we are serving, that their hearts would be open to hearing and seeing Jesus through us. Just that growth would be seen whether at the thrift store or center, God’s glory to come out of it all.
For me 🙂 for God to continue digging. For me to wake up every morning with a reminder that I am free from my fear, cycles of emotions, and toxic thoughts through Jesus. For the devil to have NO power or pull in specifically those areas but everywhere as well.
Again, if you got to here, I can’t even express how much you mean to me. You are so loved by the King of Kings but also me hehe. Thank you for your part in my walk and for supporting me every step of the way. <3
Psalms 63:8
